ANTI-IMPERIALISM T-SHIRTS

By popular demand (from shareholders), capitalism is bringing back one of its most reliable classics: imperialism. A vintage feature, hastily reissued for the modern era with updated language, reduced subtlety, and glimpses of obvious dementia.

Designed for a world where growth has plateaued but expectations haven’t, this release helps a visibly aging empire stay competitive. When influence dips and legitimacy wobbles, imperialism steps in to create new opportunities:  new markets, new enemies, new “special military operations”, all in the name of freedom and democracy.

The rebrand isn’t subtle. The pitch doesn’t bother with fact-checks or coherence. If anyone asks questions, accuse them of hating freedom and move on. Same system. New crisis. No opt-out. Terms apply. Consequences pending. Accountability sold separately.