ENVIRONMENTAL T-SHIRTS

Imagine one day that you woke up covered in fleas and ticks, a creeping rash, an intestinal tract full of tapeworms, and your hair began falling out in tufts. After a check-up with the local practice, you learn that you have been diagnosed with a severe illness known as Stage-3 Homo Sapiens. From Gaia’s point of view, that is precisely what has happened.

Our world’s exploitative oligarchs have made our environment a brothel to buy, sell, and frack whenever they please. Under the ruinous practices of total war, slash-and-burn farming, dumping, petrol-powered vehicles, and the occasional sunken oil tanker, one constant remains: it’s unsustainable and only benefits a tiny cabal of assholes on Capital Hill, many whom can’t sleep at night without clubbing a baby seal to death before bedtime.

Let’s reclaim the respect we once had for our Mother. Hug a tree. Talk to the animals. Recycle. Use 3D printing instead of Redwood trees. Divest outdated forms of energy off the market.

Do whatever you must, but do it now before we have to use our space program to find another planet. Most of us won’t be taken along for the journey anyways. So, while you’re on this rather fortunate ball of dirt in space, take care of it. You only get one, so treat her right. Besides, what examples are we setting for other intelligent life forms out there?
Address the imminent climate crisis with one of our punchy environmental tees, ALLRIOT-style.