The White Jesus Cocktail T-shirt

Introducing “The White Jesus” – a cocktail as ridiculous as the Christian school curriculum. This saccharine blend of hypocrisy and holy water is perfect for those who preach freedom but legislate faith. It’s the ultimate drink for watching the church and state slow dance into dangerous territory. It’s the perfect pour for a second term soaked in MAGA’s divine delusions, so raise a glass to theocracy-lite and savour the satire.

INGREDIENTS: 1 oz White Spirit, 0.5 oz Holy Water (tap water will do), 1 tsp Blood of Christ (or cranberry juice), Full-fat Moral Superiority (half-and-half will do), A  dash of Misogyny (enough to make it obvious)

INSTRUCTIONS:

For a sin-sational flavour that will linger on your tongue for the next 2000 years, combine all ingredients in a tumbler and shake it like you’re dodging questions about naughty Catholic priests.  Strain into a glass to remove any lingering traces of irony and serve on Sundays after church. Because that’s what Jesus would do. Decorate with a rusty nail and sprinkle with fake compassion. Add a rainbow umbrella at your own risk.