The White Jesus Cocktail T-shirt
€28
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White
Army
Jet Black
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XS
S
M
L
XL
2XL
3XL
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Our products are gender-neutral (aka unisex). Except for womens tees, obviously. Size Chart
UNISEX TEE & TANK
Fits true to size. The t-shirts are slightly form-fitting, but not fitted enough to make a difference if you fit comfortably into your normal size. Women might want to order a size down.
WOMENS TEE
Fits a bit snug. If in between sizes, please order a size up. Slightly tailored at the waist, armhole and sleeve for a more flattering silhouette.
SWEAT+HOODIE
Fits true to size (slightly oversized). Classic boxy fit. Women might want to order a size down.
PREMIUM QUALITY COTTON
We use semi-combed ringspun cotton. Just one touch lets you know this isn’t some run of the mill shapeless tee. Learn more
ETHICS & SUSTAINABILITY
ALLRIOT products are sweatshop-free and earth-friendly. Learn more
LAUNDRY & CARE
Wash at 30ºC/90ºF, inside out. For best results iron on reverse. Do not tumble dry.
United Kingdom
• Free Shipping over £40
• Flat rate £4 — 4-8 days
United States
• Free Shipping over $100
• Flat rate $7 — 6-10 days
World
• Free Shipping over $150
• Flat rate $16 — 10-18 days
Europe
• Free Shipping over €150
• Flat rate €16 — 12-24 days
Please visit our Delivery page for more details
We’re so sure that you’re going to love your purchase that we’re offering 365-day returns on everything in store. Simply return your unworn merchandise within 365 days for a full refund.
Customer is responsible for return shipping unless an item is damaged or incorrect. To learn more or to make a return, please visit our Returns page.
The White Jesus Cocktail
Introducing “The White Jesus” – a cocktail as ridiculous as the Christian school curriculum. This saccharine blend of hypocrisy and holy water is perfect for those who preach freedom but legislate faith. It’s the ultimate drink for watching the church and state slow dance into dangerous territory. It’s the perfect pour for a second term soaked in MAGA’s divine delusions, so raise a glass to theocracy-lite and savour the satire.
INGREDIENTS: 1 oz White Spirit, 0.5 oz Holy Water (tap water will do), 1 tsp Blood of Christ (or cranberry juice), Full-fat Moral Superiority (half-and-half will do), A dash of Misogyny (enough to make it obvious)
INSTRUCTIONS:
For a sin-sational flavour that will linger on your tongue for the next 2000 years, combine all ingredients in a tumbler and shake it like you’re dodging questions about naughty Catholic priests. Strain into a glass to remove any lingering traces of irony and serve on Sundays after church. Because that’s what Jesus would do. Decorate with a rusty nail and sprinkle with fake compassion. Add a rainbow umbrella at your own risk.
REVIEWS
SHIPPING
UNITED KINGDOM
FREE SHIPPING OVER £40
4-8 days — £4
3-6 days — £4
Orders ship from UK
UNITED STATES
FREE SHIPPING OVER $100
6-10 days — $7
4-8 days — $7
Orders ship from USA
*Mystery packs ship form UK
EU
FREE SHIPPING OVER €150
12-24 days — €16
5-14 days — €16
Orders ship from UK
21% VAT applicable at checkout
WORLD
FREE SHIPPING OVER $150
10-18 days — $16
5-18 days — $16
Orders ship from UK
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