Alien Jesus Poster
£16
Coated, bright white lustre finish paper, 275gsm. Unframed.
Small — A4 — 8×11 in — 21×30 cm
Medium — A3 — 11 × 17 in — 30×42 cm
Large — A2 — 17×24 in — 42×60 cm
X-Large— A1 — 24×33 in — 60×84 cm
Our products are gender-neutral (aka unisex). Except for womens tees, obviously. Size Chart
UNISEX TEE & TANK
Fits true to size. The t-shirts are slightly form-fitting, but not fitted enough to make a difference if you fit comfortably into your normal size. Women might want to order a size down.
WOMENS TEE
Fits a bit snug. If in between sizes, please order a size up. Slightly tailored at the waist, armhole and sleeve for a more flattering silhouette.
SWEAT+HOODIE
Fits true to size (slightly oversized). Classic boxy fit. Women might want to order a size down.
PREMIUM QUALITY COTTON
We use semi-combed ringspun cotton. Just one touch lets you know this isn’t some run of the mill shapeless tee. Learn more
ETHICS & SUSTAINABILITY
ALLRIOT products are sweatshop-free and earth-friendly. Learn more
LAUNDRY & CARE
Wash at 30ºC/90ºF, inside out. For best results iron on reverse. Do not tumble dry.
United Kingdom
• Free Shipping over £40
• Flat rate £4 — 4-8 days
United States
• Free Shipping over $100
• Flat rate $6 — 6-10 days
World
• Free Shipping over $150
• Flat rate $16 — 10-18 days
Europe
• Free Shipping over €150
• Flat rate €16 — 12-24 days
Please visit our Delivery page for more details
We’re so sure that you’re going to love your purchase that we’re offering 365-day returns on everything in store. Simply return your unworn merchandise within 365 days for a full refund.
Returns are free for UK & US customers. Exchanges are free for everyone.
To learn more or to make a return, please visit our Returns page.
ALIEN JESUS POSTER
In a dusty corner of the cosmos, Alien Jesus hovered gently above a hillside crowd. People were hungry—both spiritually and literally.
“Geez” said Peter, nervously eyeing the crowd, “we have only five loaves and two fish.”
Alien Jesus beeped softly in contemplation, then reached into his robe and pulled out a sleek, glowing device—the Replicator 2000™, complete with chrome finish and an optional hummus upgrade.
“Fear not,” he said in his gentle, slightly modulated voice. “For what is limited shall become… infinite buffet.”
He zapped the loaves and fishes. Instantly, the Replicator began churning out warm sourdough, perfectly grilled tilapia, and—accidentally—three dozen bagels. The crowd went wild. Later, at a wedding in Cana, the wine ran dry. Panic set in. But Alien Jesus just shrugged, aimed his Replicator at a nearby jug of water, and whispered, “Cabernet, 12% ABV.” The guests cheered. The best man cried. Thus, the legend of Alien Jesus grew—not just the saviour of souls, but the galaxy’s top-tier event caterer.
REVIEWS
DELIVERY
UNITED KINGDOM
FREE SHIPPING OVER £40
4-8 days — £4
3-6 days — £4
All orders ship from UK
UNITED STATES
FREE SHIPPING OVER $100
6-10 days — $6
4-8 days — $6
All orders ship from USA
*Mystery packs ship form UK
WORLD (Excl. EU)
FREE SHIPPING OVER $150
10-18 days — $16
5-18 days — $16
Orders ship from USA or UK
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